One Arm
You can play a harmonica with only one arm.
You cannot shuffle cards with only one arm.
You can eat a hotdog with one arm.
And you can give high-fives,
but not low-fives,
except if you're not doing high-fives,
and you cant do jumping jacks either.
And its cold, yes its much too cold
to build the fire tonight.
All These Wind Gusts
"All these wind gusts"
was what she was thinking as
her feet flew up like she slipped on a banana peel,
and thank god she grabbed onto that wire,
but the rain is making her hands slip
And she's wrapped her feet around the wire.
They're getting so close to the ground.
Hope they make it down safe to the ground.
My Boogers Form Like Gold
My boogers form like gold:
in tiny cracks through my nasal hairs.
Fuck Poetry
Fuck poetry,
I wanna split atoms.
Escalator Poem
I've got to stop thinking of all
the things I've said by mistake
Do you remember when you were a little kid
and you thought you'd
get sucked under the escalator?
I do.
Fast Thinker
You think faster than time passes
your thoughts are always waiting for time to catch up
and they talk slowly to time
as if time is a child and then time finally catches up
and your thoughts leap ahead again.
To-do List
X cut toenails
X lesson plans
X laundry
taxes
X art supplies
checking account/
X cash kd check
X scratch balls
get laid
Raymond
Have you ever noticed that everybody loves Raymond sucks?
I hate Raymond.
Sudafed (and why can't I buy any in Portland?)
I want to buy a bunch of Sudafed to get on the meth-lab watchlist and then wait at my door with a shotgun till the cops show up.